Divorce

I have seen more and more “Christian” homes breaking up lately. How does this happen? How does a couple that is committed to the Lord become so far apart that they turn their backs on the vows they took and the promises they made? How do you decide th

I’ve got a bum right knee. When it rains, or when it is cold and damp my knee aches like nobody’s business, and every now and then it just totally lets me down. So I’ve decided to cut it off. I’m going find my hacksaw, then I’m going to cut off my right leg. I’m not going to take any anesthesia, I won’t even clean the blade. After all, a step this drastic should include some pain and risk, shouldn’t it? Now, before you call 911 or a mental health professional, let me explain that I am not going to do any of that. My right leg may not be great, but it is the only leg I have. It is the leg God gave me, so I guess I’ll keep it.

I know many men and women who have made the same drastic decision in their lives. They have decided that rather than accept the deficiencies or lack of perfection in their spouse that they will send them packing.

I have seen more and more “Christian” homes breaking up lately. How does this happen? How does a couple that is committed to the Lord become so far apart that they turn their backs on the vows they took and the promises they made? How do you decide that the person you promised to spend the rest of your life with isn’t worthy of that commitment anymore? In a word, selfishness. One or the other person decides that their happiness or fulfillment is more important than anything else. So they look to another for their happiness and fulfillment. It may start out innocent enough, just friendly talking and commiserating over sad tales. Then, one day, the feelings turn romantic. The lives of these people will never be the same.

Both spouses start to play the “Blame Game.” As they bicker back and forth over petty differences, the real victims stand helplessly by and watch their parents rip each other to shreds. The real victims are the children.

I know what I am talking about. My parents divorced when I was eight years old. The years that followed were full of pain and suffering for my mom, my dad, and my brothers and I. Nobody got away clean, nobody has lived without scars.

Twenty years ago my wife and I sat in the front seat of our car and I listened to my world cave in. She said she wasn’t sure she loved me anymore. There wasn’t another man or woman involved, we had just let the fire go out of our marriage. As I listened to her, my heart broke into a million pieces. She was weeping and so was I.

We didn’t give up. We didn’t call the lawyers. We didn’t seek solace in the arms of another. We fought back. We went to the only counselor we knew. We went to Jesus. I decided to be the best husband Lanette had ever seen. I decided to win the heart of my beloved all over again. I courted my wife and tried my best to make her feel like she was the most important thing in the world to me. She was, I just had forgotten that fact. I had gotten so busy doing “God’s work” that I forgot the most important work God has for me is to be a good husband and father.

I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have ever been. You couldn’t have convinced me that it would ever be this way, but it is. It can be for you, too. Don't give up! See a counselor, hit your knees, get back into church. Do whatever it takes, but fall in love with your spouse again. You deserve it, your spouse deserves it. And most of all, your kids deserve it.

Shedding a tear and saying a prayer for families… Jerry